WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
