when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
