I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
