"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
