Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
His nipple licking is glorious
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