Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
false alarm. still invincible.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
