You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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