just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
