So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
