I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize