have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize