I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
