you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
