If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
