he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
