I hate all girls vehemently.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
