lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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