brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
