I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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