Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
