"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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