What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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