sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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