I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
