But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
id be glad to
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
