Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm having to shit out rocks
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