Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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