Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
