dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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