I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
