yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize