How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
