You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
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I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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