the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sorry about my life...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
