we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
