The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize