On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
