my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
