Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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