Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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