i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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