Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
