Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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