I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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