whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
