So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
