She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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