Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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