At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
