THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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