Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
