Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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