Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
