I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
