nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
