Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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