I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
