"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
