My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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